Handy Man
by Spoot Poot
Summary: A broken soul is harder to fix. It's not like a busted microwave.


Spoot: YAAAAY FLOOF!

Revy: Floof?

Rock: Fluff.

Revy: Fluff! Awwwwmaaaaan!

Handy Man

Revy was standing over Dutch, Wrench in hand; ready to shove it up his ass if he didn't get out of the way! Dutch was in the middle of trying to fix the AC unit that had busted mysteriously after Revy shot it five times. He looked up at her, shook his head and began to speak when the AC unit began to pop and fizzle. "Move." She snapped as she elbowed him. "I can fix this." She added as she got in between him and the appliance. Dutch moved out of the way, as he rubbed his head a bit. "Damn thing just blew on me!" He snapped. She just rolled her eyes and got to work like she always did. She was the only one in a house full of men….that knew how to fix anything!

Fridge busted? won't make ice? Call Revy.

Drain clogged? Did ya fuck it up again?! Call Revy…

Window broke? Throw something at the mother fucker!? Call fucking Revy!

It almost drove her nuts! She hated being the fucking handy man all the damn time! Fix this, fix that! She looked up with a sigh. "Can I, just for once, be the girl around here!?" Dutch looked to her and tilted his head a bit. "Hm? You say someth'n?" He asked. She cringed, having realized she said that aloud. "N-nah…noth'n man…" She murmured as she went back to unscrewing this and adjusting that. Dutch just shrugged and headed for the door. "Hey, listen Rev…" She looked up as he spoke. "I'm goin' down to the dock for a bit. If'eh, if you need anything…don't…y'know…" She narrowed her eyes at him. "Would you just go Dutch…before you lose a nut..." She said, holding up her wrench. The man nodded, turned and left.

"Walk with me." Dutch said as he passed by Rock. The man looked up from his magazine at Dutch; then nodded and stood, following. "What's up?" he asked as he took his place by the other man's side. "I dunno." Dutch said in his sleuth voice. "Revy's acting kinda…weird."

"Weird, weird how?" Rock asked. Pure intention in his voice as he looked to the other man with worry. "I dunno…she kinda popped off with something strange while we were fixing the AC. Said something about wanting to be a girl…or something…got any idea what that might mean Rock-o?" Rock shook his head, adding a soft "Uh uh." To it. "Yeah me either…I dunno if she's on the rag…or what."

"Might be a female problem…maybe call Bela, or Eda…or something…" Rock suggested. Dutch looked to him with a big goofy grin. He grabbed the other man in a playful headlock. "God damn it boy! I knew there was a reason I liked yo'cracker ass!" Rock flailed a bit then let out a chuckle. Dutch let him go and headed right for the phones.

"Sup…" Eda said from the doorframe she was leaning on. Revy cut her eyes away from her gun cleaning then back down. "Yo." She said nonchalantly. Eda stood upright and approached. "Got this weird phone call about an hour ago from your home'boy….know anything about that?" Eda's sly snake of a tongue revealed itself as she licked her lip a bit. "Nope." Revy said shortly, never bothering to look back up. In all honesty, she didn't know anything about a phone call to one, bitch hoe Eda…but yet, there she was. "What'sa'matta honey, having a bad day!" She said in a fake, high voice as she sat down. Revy let out a light growl as she worked. "Awwww! Is _wittel Wevy_ havin' a bad day!" She cooed in that high voice as she nuzzled into the other woman. "Back off bitch." Revy growled out. "AWWWWW! Is it someone's time of the month!" Eda hissed as she threw her arms around the other woman.

Blood boiled.

Eda looked up from the floor in shock, her glasses broke, her jaw most likely cracked. Revy stood over her ready for round two. Her fist clenched tight, her head down, hair in her face. "Jesus! What's your problem She-Male! Damn! I was only kidding; we both know you ain't no woman!" That did it. Revy delivered a swift kick to the other woman's face, knocking her back. With that, she turned and headed down the hall. Her footing was slow, her head hung in that ominous way. She passed right by Rock in what seemed like slow motion. She never looked up at him. Rock stopped and watched her go right into their room and slam the door. He blinked and headed for the living room.

"What did you do!" he bellowed. Eda sat up as she rubbed her face. "Damn…she really got me good…I think she was really try'n t'lay me out this time…" She looked up and shrugged. "Nothing out of the ordinary. I was picking on her like I always do and she just snapped….crazy bitch." She hissed under her breath. Rock looked confused mixed in with concern. Something had his woman in a mood. Something was eating at her. But what? "Thanks anyway Eda. Sorry about…your jaw."

"And my nose, and my eye, and my glasses!"

"Yeah…sorry about all that too…"

Benny approached Revy's door some hours later. He had been out and was ignorant to what was going on. He knocked a few times but got no answer. "Hey, Rev…um…microwave is acting weird… it's like, buzzing or some-" Revy cut him off by opening the door. He looked on at her in a bit of shock. She had that face…the one the guys so lovingly called "Spooky Ghost Face." Benny blinked a few times. "Uh…anyway…it's making all kinds of weird-" She once again cut him off by shoving passed him and heading to the kitchen. Benny followed in a nervous way as he wrung his hands together.

"I can fix it." She said in a low voice. She stopped at the appliance and glanced at the the man. Benny nodded and turned to go but stopped. "Is…something bugging you?" He asked sweetly. "You wanna die Benny?" She said softly. "Not really…" He said in the same tone. This was their joke…but today…it didn't seem funny. Today…it seemed serious. "You know…you can talk to me…" He began. "Just go get my tools." She said in a defeated breath. Benny nodded and left the room.

Rock and Benny exchanged a head nod as the two passed each other in the doorway. Rock approached Revy. She was already flipping the appliance over and pulling things off the back. "Hey babe." He said softly as he sat at the table. She said nothing, just concentrated on her task. "So I was talking with Dutch about a job close to Japan…sounds fun huh? You wanna do some running around with me?" He tried. She ignored him for the most part. All she had for him was a sharp glance or two and a snarl as she worked. Rock nodded in an understanding way. "I know how much you hate travel…" She sighed and turned to him. "What do you want Rock, I'm kinda busy here." Rock looked up at her with a loving expression and a smile. "I just wanted to ask about the trip, that's all." He said.

Deep down it was more than that. He was waiting. Let her come to you, it was the only way. She sighed and rolled her eyes. Benny returned with a toolbox and put it on the counter. Revy got right to work. The two men shot each other worried looks and shrugs as they spoke internally to one another. Benny looked at Revy then back to Rock. Rock shrugged. Benny put his hands on his hips. Rock rolled his eyes with a nod. Benny threw his hands in the air. "Would you two shut the fuck up!" Revy snapped suddenly. She was glaring at them both. The two men shot upright and hugged one another out of fear. "Oh ha ha! Very funny! Crazy Revy is mad and now she's gunna eat'cha!" She snarled at them. The two men shook and held on to one another for dear life. "Oh fuck the both of you and your grandmas!" She snapped as she turned back to her task.

They let go of each other and regained composure. "That's low…fucking grandmas and shit." Benny said. It was meant as a joke but he still got slammed into a wall. Revy had him pinned and was ready to bite his face off. "Whoa whoa!" Rock snapped as he pulled Revy back. Benny dropped to his feet and dashed from the room like an escaped con. Revy was shaking with rage as she watched him run. "YEAH THAT'S RIGHT LITTLE BOY! RUN AWAY!" She bellowed. Rock pulled on her until she was sitting at the table. He got down on his knees in front of her and looked up. "What's gotten into you Rev?" She stood and shoved passed him and went back to the microwave.

Rock pulled her back, she jerked away. Rock grabbed her hand, she jerked away. Rock pulled her into a hug, she pushed him back. "Leave me the fuck alone Rock!"

"No." He said. It was a simple word, meaning many things. It hit Revy like a ton of led. She let out a gasp. "GO AWAY!" She snapped. Rock shook his head. "LEAVE!" She shrieked. He stood his ground. She looked ready to explode as a few tears feel from her eyes. "GET OUT!" Rock crossed his arms. She lunged at him and started shoving him as she let out angry sobs. He didn't budge. "GET AWAY FROM ME!" She cried out. All Rock did was wrap her in his arms and pull her in. She let out a scream that turned into a sob. The two slowly lowered to the floor, as he held on tight to her.

She instinctively curled into him while still trying to 'fight' him off. Rock pulled the rubber band from her hair and let it down. He ran his hands through her bangs and let her cry into him. This wasn't a first for them, no, but this was new. The sobs died down a bit as she rubbed at her eyes. She looked innocent…like a little girl who just lost her favorite doll. Rock watched with worry as she took a ragged breath. "I cant fix it…" She said softly. "No matter what I do…I cant fix it….I've tried everything…everything…and nothing works." She rubbed at her eyes again as tears fell. "I hate it….I hate…this…I cant live like this…" He pulled her into his arms again. He knew what she was referring to…her own body. Revy couldn't have children, nor could she produce enough estrogen to even have a normal minstrel Sycle. Rock was the only one in the world who knew this. No one else got it. No one else understood. Revy was just some gun toting butch for all they cared. However, deep down, Rebecca Lee just wanted to be a woman. She wanted to cook for her husband; she wanted to take hot bubble baths with strawberry scented everything. Hell, her favorite color was pink. The only one who knew that was her man though. The rest just picked at her. And for the most part, Revy took it with a grain of salt and insulted a fucker right back. Nevertheless, today, something had her in a mood.

"No matter what I do….I'm fucked." She said. Rock stroked at her hair and let out a soft short hum. She looked up, into his eyes. "I'm broken…" She said softly. Rock just smiled and pulled her back into his chest. "Don't worry Ma'am…I can fix it." Was all he said.

Spoot: FLOOOOOOF!

Revy: Can someone…please…

Keegan: And where the hell was I? And why did someone say they wanted to see the color of my brains!? And why am I always the bad guy?!

Spoot: *Straps Keegan in the naught chair* Don't worry! We still love you! Anyway! Enjoy! And remember to review.

Revy: Yeah…and pick me up a case of beer…and some chicken wings…yeah…


End file.
